Friday, July 10, 2009

Road Widow, again

I want to be happy that my husband is going back to work. I should be happy, we have insurance again, we won't have to scrape by on unemployment, we won't have to borrow $$ from family when we can't quite make it. It's a good thing, a great thing...he is ready to get back in his truck and we are getting to the point where togetherness is too much of a good thing and we are driving each other nuts. Better still, he is being dispatched 2 days earlier than we were told when he 1st got the call back. So why am I being a whiner about it? Because he is leaving in the morning for Laredo, Texas...we live in Indiana. If he gets lucky and gets a load back immediately he might be home Wednesday. And so, I go from having him here, helping me with the house, kids, me, and having him next to me every night except when I was in the hospital after the c-section to him being gone, and let me tell you, 5 days is an optimistic number, he was out 2 weeks once on that run. So now I go back to that routine so familiar to the trucker's wife, 25% couple/75% single mom. I was used to it, and we talked long and hard about it before we got pregnant this time. I was ready to be here alone w/a 4 yr old and a new born, and occasionally a 9 yr old when my stepdaughter comes to stay when her Dad is still on the road. We had a plan, and we were prepared. Then came the lay off/bed rest situation, and he was here all the time. I got used to it, I got spoiled, the luxury of unlimited time with my husband became the norm. Now it's gone, and I am beside myself to think he will drive that truck away tomorrow and it will be days before I see him again. I know I don't need him here every minute, I know I can do it and will be fine, I know I have a list of friends and family to help me if I need it, but I miss him already and he is just out in the driveway packing up the truck for the trip. So, I need to cowgirl up, put on my big-girl panties, and all those other cliches and be glad he has a job for me to be bitching about, because being lonely is better than being destitute! Thank gods for cell phones. Maybe I should finally learn to use a web cam so we can Skype to each other...the kids would love to talk to Daddy over the computer.

1 comment:

Boiler Girl said...

Don't be discouraged! It is hard, but we have to make those sacrifices for our family. Nathan was out of town for work (M-F/S) Emma's entire first year! The NICU stay, post-heart surgery, feeding tube issues, all of it! But that was what the Lord provided for us at exactly the right time: a new job, insurance, a good salary. He got us through that time, and He will be w/ you and Chris and the girls as well!

Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet Again...

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