Wednesday, July 15, 2009

H.W. parenting

I am pretty granola as far as parenting, as you may have guessed. I am into a lot of stuff as far as my parenting choices that get anything from blank stares to confusion when brought up in conversation. "Gross, cloth diapers?" or "You will spoil her in that sling!" or "She will sleep great if you let her cry it out." I appreciate that these well meaning mamas are trying to help. Parenting is hard, and I know they think some of my choices are making more work and less sleep for myself. Except for the cloth diapers, which are new for this baby, I just say it worked for my 1st child, who slept thru the night at an early age, is very healthy, happy, smart and well mannered. It is hard to argue w/great results. So, in the face of my seemingly loosey-goosey views on childrearing, people tend to be shocked about some other details of our parenting. For one, I like a routine. Not a schedule, do not be confused there, I am not that guy who would hold off feeding or keep a sleepy baby awake because the clock said it was not time. I like a routine so that the same general things happen in the same general order in a given day. I think this will be especially important with a homeschooled kindergartener and an infant, and now that Mojo is a little more ready for it I will start easing her into one. Secondly, well-mannered children are very important to us. We teach it, model it, publicly correct bad manners in our kids. I cannot stand bratty kids, and certainly could not live with them. My proudest moments as a Mama are when people tell me how well behaved and polite my kids are. Believe me, they have their moments of brattitude like all kids, they are not creepy Stepford kids, but in general they know how to act. Third, our kids have chores and responsibilities, and we are very strict parents. Our kids clear up dinner dishes and put away their clean clothes. Jiji has chores every day, and my stepdaughter has chores and generally helps out when she is here. Rules are rules in our house, and we expect them to be followed. There are consequenses for all actions. Lastly, we are very devout. People have a lot of misconceptions about pagans, far to many to address here, but even people who know us well are suprised at how 'serious' we are about are faith. We pray, often, and most aspects of our lives involve our faith, just quietly. Our faith is private, not because we hide it, but because it is between our family and the Divine. If you ask, we will be happy to tell you...proudly and in detail, but we do not prosthetize or advertise. A lot of what we do seems to not go together, but it's working for us. Better I think, to have a plan that evolves and grows to meet the families needs, changes, and goals, even if on the surface it seems weird, then to stumble through and wonder what went wrong. No thing works for everyone, and everyone has to find their thing. I guess we just like to keep people on their toes.

1 comment:

BrandiB said...

Sounds like you are doing a fantastic job, Tori! Keep up the good work.

Merry Meet, Merry Part, and Merry Meet Again...

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