I've mentioned before that I am in an incredibly rough patch at this point in my life. That being said, I have been trying to find comfort wherever I can. I can barely quiet my mind enough to sleep, let alone meditate for more than a few minutes. I have been tending my altars, and in my prayers and offerings, I have felt called by a Goddess I would have never expected to reach out to me...Mary
Yes, that Mary.
I came from a Christian background in my teens, and when I left the Baptist Church, it was not with anger or disdain. I simply was no longer happy as a Christian in my heart, and when I found Wicca, and then the broader scope of Paganism in general, I simply felt like I was finally home. I always looked on the Christian God as one of the many Gods I know and recognize, and Mary (both the Virgin Mary and Mary Magdalene) as Christian Goddesses.
Many years ago, when I was in the hospital after hand surgery, a co-worker very respectfully gave me a Rosary and a book about the history of the Rosary. I still have the Rosary today, because prayer is prayer and there was a lot of love in that gift.
So when things went way south a couple months ago, I dug out that Rosary and prayed it. It felt a little weird, so I made my own Morrigan Rosary and reworked the prayers to fit my needs. (I will post on that hopefully next week) Apparently, the contact with my Christian days, once or maybe even twice removed because I had never been Catholic, and had been given the Rosary a few years into my Pagan life was all the invitation that was needed.
That first week after we closed the shop doors and were at the grocery trying to stretch the last of our money into as many cheap meals as possible. I walked away from the cart, and plucked a candle off the shelf. The Virgin of Guadalupe. I have gone through 7 candles now, and have actually made one of the empty jars into an oil lamp because I have no money to buy more.
I have done some research on her, and one of the aspects that drew me to her, that she represents the Great Mother, has made her a symbol of the Pro-Life and Reproductive Rights battles by the Catholic Church. Regardless of this association, she, as in most cases with Mary, took on the robes and inhabited the sacred sites of the indigenous Goddess, Tonantzin. This is kind of blanket term for Earth Mother Goddesses. The one who caught my eye, not surprisingly, was Cihuacoatl. She is an Aztec Goddess of childbirth, warfare, and crossroads. So, that light is burning, reminding me again that I have warriors and mothers, who are usually one in the same, holding me and helping to remind me that although I am weak now, strength is waiting for me to claim, when I'm ready to claim it.