Plans in motion

My entire adult life has seemingly been a long line of crisis' strung together. Granted, there have been some amazingly good times hung on that line as well, but I have not once had my shit together. I would like to know what that's like. I feel like we have a plan that is a long-term solution, not an 11th hour fix that might make things worse in the long run. We are not running from a problem, as we have tried and failed to do in the past. We are not hiding. We are actually on the upswing, not in the midst of a catastrophe right now. We could probably continue on as we are right now and be back on an even keel in the next 2 months...until the next issue throws us back into the tempest. Fuck that. For real, I can't do it anymore. The next blow might be the one I don't get up from. We have to find a better way. We have to make a deep change and really live it.

All our life together, we planned and the gods laughed. The Hubs and I had a series of loooong talks, followed by a long, serious, and highly emotional conversation with my parents over the weekend. We are going to start back at zero. We are going to carve down our lives to fit into what we can afford and manage, and we are going to keep it there.

What are our resources?

 We have the Vardo. It needs some serious remodeling to be a permanent residence, like a working bathroom for instance, but it is all work that we have the tools and knowledge to do. Until then, it is structurally livable, as long as we have access to facilities.  

We have a bunch of crap. I will be spending the next few weeks ruthlessly sorting our belongings into keep. pitch, sell. There are, really, very few belongings we have that we can't live without, especially when you factor in cost to store it and the odds of us living somewhere we can use large items like our furniture, in the next several years. Better to sell it and put the funds toward the Vardo. By the weekend I hope to have the 1st of several yard sales and have the bulk of our furniture on Craigslist.

We have a cheap place to park the Vardo. My parents have a 1 acre lot, and have graciously agreed to let us park the Vardo on it. We will have sewer hook-up, electrical hook-up, and much to our kids approval, cable. We will contribute to the utilities, and I will happily cook for the whole extended family. We will be close enough to their house to use their shower, (the Vardo toilet works, and the shower might work but it leaks and we are afraid to do more water damage) and their kitchen when I need an oven. The Hubs has a new job, and the 1st week that asked if he could transfer closer to where my parents live. Even if we move before he is transferred, the company will put him up in Safford during the week, they have several drivers who live in the Sierra Vista area, but stay in Safford during the week to work.

We have a fierce desire to abandon almost everything and build a better life from the ground up. The ultimate goal is to remodel the Vardo, and then build a Tiny House. Both of these projects will be done in small bites, as we can afford it. This is the 2nd part of living within our means. We don't want a mortgage for a house we hope we can still afford down the line. We want to build as we can afford it, and have no overhead once they are complete. Once these are done and fully livable, we will find a piece of land, buy it cash, and park our Tiny Houses on it. When we can afford it. Not when we think we have the budget on paper to afford the payment. That is where we fail, time and again. We now accept this limitation in ourselves and are acting accordingly. 

On a more personal note, I seem to be in better mental health when I am in control of my living space. Even when we were squished in the Vardo, with my Dad ranting from his Alzheimer's and me having to care for him (he is fully incontinent, with a Foley Catheter and adult diapers...think of that in an RV) I was happier there. It was paid for. No one could ever evict us from the Vardo. It was mine to do with as I pleased. No matter what else was happening, that is an unbelievably comforting thought and I missed it the second we went back to renting. 

I always wanted to remodel the Vardo, and that plan completely fell away when we moved. We moved into the rental house in all good faith that it would work, we would buy it down the line and make a home and a life here. We just got sucked up in plans, again. We see what could be in the future, and ignore what we should be doing today. Scaling down and making what we have work for us will let us focus on today. What can we do today, each day, to make our life better. We are committing to no longer live a someday life. Someday we will own this. Someday we will be able to to that. I am 38, someday will never come until I decide today is that someday. 

Today is the day I will begin to sort out my life.

Today is the day I will do something to make the life I want happen.

Today I will plan, but I will also DO!

Today I will make my life better, and no longer wait for XYZ to make it better for me.

No-Knead Bread is awesome!

I have been in a baking mood again lately. I made a Sourdough Starter, which I will post this weekend when it is ready to bake with. I did not want to wait for the yummy bread goodness, so I decided to try another bread recipe that I have seen around the internets. Originally posted by New York Times, the no-knead bread method has made the rounds in the blogs since 2008. Is it too late to say I'm jumping on the bandwagon? Probably, since the wagon is parked in storage by now...but I digress. 

The No-Knead method is very appealing to me for several reasons. 

1. It requires more time than actual effort, which works well for me. 

Time does all the work here, all you really have to do is remember when to mess with it. It took like 2 minutes to mix the dough, cover it with plastic wrap, and tuck it on top of the fridge. 

2. It is ridiculously cheap

And will be even cheaper when my Sourdough starter is ready to use and I won't even have to buy yeast! I estimate that there might be $.50 or less in this loaf of bread, depending on the flour you use. I happened to have bread flour around, but all-purpose is fine also.

3. It's delicious! Crusty on the outside, chewy and tender on the inside, with a deep, yeasty flavor that cannot be matched in bread with shorter proofing times. It really has that boutique bakery taste and texture.

4. It makes you look like an awesome, Hipster, Artisan baker!!!

You can totally make your friends and family think you are a master baker when you whip this loaf out for dinner or bring it as a Hostess or house warming gift. It looks rustic and awesome, smells amazing, and tastes even better. 

The Basic No-Knead Bread Recipe

3 cups flour plus more for flouring work surfaces

use what you have around. Bread flour is good, but all purpose works well. If you want to use whole wheat, mix it with white flour 1:2 ratio. The white flour "ferments" better and will develop better taste

1/4 teaspoon instant yeast

1 1/2 teaspoon salt

1 1/2 cups purified water

Only use tap water if you are certain it has no chlorine. Chlorine inhibits bacteria growth, and we are going for optimum yeast development here

a cast iron Dutch oven or other high-temp safe vessel with a lid to bake it in. This is an important step! I said above that time does most of the work, well the Dutch oven does the rest of the work. I have an awesome cast iron Dutch oven that was my Dads. It is a no-name brand, but has been seasoned by years of camping trips!

A cotton towel 

plastic cling wrap

cooling rack

Whisk together dry ingredients in a large bowl, then mix in water to form a "Shaggy" dough. It should not be liquid, but it should be too sticky to handle well.

Cover the bowl with cling wrap, and stick it in a spot where the room temp is consistent. I always use the top of the fridge for proofing dough. It is warm and out of the way. Now the waiting begins. Let that dough chill out for around 12-18hrs. I live in a hot climate, so I waited about 15 hrs so that I would not have the oven on at the hottest part of the day. 12 seems to be the minimum of consensus, but I did see a blog that the blogger got by with 8 hrs. Just make sure the dough has at least doubled, and looks bubbly and loose.

Scrape the dough out on a WELL floured surface. You will need to use a dough scraper or spatula. It will stick to the sides of the bowl.


 Flour the top of the dough and your hands, then gently spread the dough into a rough rectangle. 

Fold the dough on itself in thirds

Then in half

Cover loosely with the cling wrap and let rest for 15 minutes.

Lay out a clean, cotton towel and flour a spot for the dough very well. Cornmeal can also be used, and if you are super-fancy you can use a proofing basket. I tend to avoid single-job kitchen equipment, so I opt for a well-floured towel.



Once the dough has rested, tuck the seams under and put on the floured towel, then flour the top of the dough and wrap in the towel. Let the dough proof for 60-90 minutes. Again, super hot here so I waited an hour.

15 minutes before baking time, pre-heat the oven to 500 and put the Dutch oven in to pre-heat as well. When it is time, carefully remove the Dutch oven and remove lid.  It will smoke when you take the lid off, this is normal and means the pot is hot enough.Turn the dough out into the bottom of the Dutch oven, and give it a shake to let the dough settle on the bottom. The seams will be up now, and will act as "scoring" since the dough is too soft to actually score. I did not take a pic of this step, as I had a dog, 2 cats, and a child trying to "help" me and I was nervous someone was going to get burnt. Slap the lid back on and bake for 30 minutes. Then, turn oven down to 450 and remove the Dutch oven lid, bake for 15 minutes. Then remove the bread from the Dutch oven and on to a cooling rack. Let cool completely before slicing. This is the hardest part, by far, because it smell like heaven!

Just a note: There are lots of cool baking gadgets like sold HERE, but as I stated I don't like one-job equipment. I also like that this recipe is simple for the novice, home baker with amazing results. Whether you are a dedicated baking nerd with half of the items from the above shop in your kitchen, or this is your 1st loaf of bread, a little patience is all the skill you need for this bread to be in your belly!

Homestead Update 08/11/13

We are finally in a hopeful place. Our landlord has been working with us to get through yet another rough patch financially, and has mentioned us buying the property on contract when our lease is up. I feel more inclined to work on improving the land knowing it may be permanent. 

I finished one keyhole garden, but it is being attacked by ground squirrels at every turn. They dug the pea seeds right up and killed one of the pumpkins already. That and the heat killing the cucumber, which I knew was a strong possibility, are discouraging. When I can get a few extra bucks, I am going to plant bush beans, potatoes, and maybe try cukes again when the weather breaks.

We also have been working on plans for a chicken coop. We learned from past mistakes and checked the local ordinance, even though we live well out of town. We are good to go for livestock, and are hoping to have the coop done, made for nearly free with pallets, (we just need to buy hardware cloth) and populated with 8-10 hens and a rooster in the next month. The next phase will be a 2nd coop for meat birds, then a few goats.

I started the garden way late in the year, and although I did not expect much production, I am worried I will have nothing to show for those efforts this year. That's ok, the foundation is laid for future seasons. Good news, though! My Mom and Stepdad sent us home from our last visit with a bucket of peaches from their tree. I am not up to canning at the moment, so I just sliced them up and tossed them with some pectin and bagged them up to freeze.

I got about 2 quarts. We are set for peach cobbler and pie this winter! 

Beyond that I have been crafting and trying to write. Etsy and Amazon have kept us above water the past month. I hope now that The Hubs is back to work that money can go straight into improving the property and toward homesteading projects like rain barrels and getting some fruit and nut trees!

Anticipation

I am not a patient woman. I never have been. It is a virtue that I am trying to cultivate, though I sometimes feel it is a futile endeavor.

This is the reason that our current course of action is hard for me. I don't mind the tight quarters here in the Vardo on the whole. There are times it drives me nuts, but they pass. On the whole, I feel very positive and in control of our situation.

Until yesterday.

We have been working with a small, local company to repair our credit and buy a home. We have a 6 month plan at the moment. Our credit is very near where it needs to be to get a loan, and we have both a home and a few undeveloped properties on the wish list.

The home we want we looked at back in January. We actually spent about an hour and a half touring the home and property, as well as just having a lovely visit with the home owners. 

So, when we began to get our ducks in a row and were asked if there was a house we were interested in, we put that place at the top of the list. The gentlemen we are working with even went to look at it to buy it so we could rent it until we could buy it from them when we get to that step. (That is how the program works. We don't pay them anything, but sign an agreement that we will buy a home from them of our choosing at the end of the program)

All was well. Then the home owner called us. They remembered how nice we were and how much we loved the house and wanted to give us one last shot. They offered to sell it to us owner carry. They offered to work with us. One way or the other, the place feels close enough to touch.

This makes me impatient. I don't want to wait 6 months. Veruca wants it now, Daddy, NOW! It's my Hippie dream home and it is a fucking solid possibility. This makes me insane with wanting...and it also makes me scared.

I have had the rug, hell the whole floor, pulled out from under me so many times. I am terrified by the invigorating hope that is bubbling in me, in us. It's heady, and amazing,  and it makes my heart race with both anticipation and terror.

I want to be positive. I want to just think that even if this one gets away, there is an equally delicious fish waiting to be hooked, but I am fragile and my hopes have been crushed so many times they don't go together smooth anymore. 

And so now I'm trying to be patient, trying to keep hope afloat, and trying not to be afraid of possibility. 

Update on the Allegro

We have now been living in the Allegro for a little over 2 months. I still love it more than I dislike it, but when  the weather is bad or my Dad is having a bad day as far as Dementia, it gets pretty small. Even though we are making plans to move Dad into a Memory Care facility (This is the result of MUCH convincing of me by the nursing service that I have done all I can do and it is in his and our best interest. More on that later.) in the near future, we are still crowded, but determined to see this plan through

I have begun to call it The Vardo. This is the Roma name for the Gypsy wagons the Roma used to live and travel in. Because we are looking to potentially be here for six months while we go through the process of cleaning up our credit and get a loan to buy land and/or a home, my Mom came down two weeks ago and helped me spruce things up.

If you did not see my earlier post about it, here is what it looked like before.

Have I ever mentioned that I hate paneling? Yeah, it's a deep-seated hatred. So with it's nickname of The Vardo in mind, I set my plan in motion. Both my Mom and The Hubs thought I was nuts when I showed them my paint choices. They are bright and gaudy and awesome. If I'm gonna do a thing, I'm gonna DO IT! Their doubts were assuaged by the 2nd day when what I was seeing in my head began to take shape. A modern twist on the decadently garish Gypsy style. Love it or hate it, I present The Vardo

Not much altar space, but a Mason jar terrarium and my Buddah fit in the corner.

We put up a curtain as a "door" to separate our bed and the bathroom area to give the illusion of privacy.

I added more plants since. I put up coat hooks and hung the plastic buckets by one handle

Kind of hard to see, but I covered the mauve upholstery on the seat cushions with blue twin sheets. I secured them with sheet straps, crossed over, underneath. They stay put when going up and down between table and bed. 

This wall is right at the entrance. I used stencils.

Obligatory Instagram shot. I plan to hang two more curtains, one on each side, across the front to hide the "cabin". I really hate the mauve curtains, but the front faces more or less South and they are blackout curtains. They keep out a lot of heat and blinding light from the Arizona sun. 

What you cannot see is that we organized each overhead cabinet and it was amazing how much stuff The Vardo can hold and still be relatively neat and organized. I say "relatively" because I have 2 kids and 2 dogs...something is always messy.

I still have to finish the bed/bath area, but it is such an improvement! I love it even more now. 

When we get somewhere more permanent, The Vardo will become either an actual camper for trips, or a guest house, depending on how expensive making it road worthy will be. Until then, it's our little Home Sweet Home.Gypsy Junkies Axel Caplet Boxy Long Sleeve Tee at Free People - Black (Google Affiliate Ad)Cotton Tale Gypsy 3-Pc. Wall Art Set (Google Affiliate Ad)Gypsy Junkies Mimi Tunic (Google Affiliate Ad)Gypsy Junkies Mimi Tunic (Google Affiliate Ad) 

Farmageddon

As someone who actively aspires to be a small scale farmer and sell at farmers markets someday, this movie has blown my mind. Swat teams serving warrants because people have raw milk? Killing large herds of sheep only to find they were in perfect health 8 years later? Madness...

Windy weekend

We had a wicked pop up storm Saturday night! 55mph winds and torrential rains. We had no real damage to our property, blessedly, but there are trees down all over and our power was outfor about 10 hours overnight. One good thing about being Pagan, you have plenty of candles around the house in these situations! So we lit candles, tucked the girls onto the couch ( their room was 'too dark') and rode it out. Here are a few pics from our tour of the storm carnage this morning. Now I'm off to clean out the pool since we did not get the cover on it before all hell broke loose.